EPISODE
Updated: Jan 31, 2020
Your heart adored my sweet disposition
Another day with a standard mission
My nine-to-five is unremarkable
But we are content with conventional
Regime, habits, all is customary
Everything but revolutionary
Lacking excitement, lovers so cheerful
Seeking to make our routine meaningful
You are unaware of my condition
It will pierce through you like ammunition
I’ll lie awake in bed, won’t sleep for now
Speaking quickly, a loud siren of thoughts
You hate me as they fill your mind ajar
I am jumpy, touchy agitated
No control do I retain here again
Dance until the early morning sunrise
Throw hands with any inconveniences
Thoughts race through my head, I cannot slow down
Excessive spending and risky living
This week I’ll fly up high, then I’ll crash down
A hopeless depth so dark I’ll die inside
No more food and no more bathing for now
All happy thoughts will flee from my dull mind
Oh death, oh numbness, conquer my body
Constrained, manic, crazy, panic, chronic
My state drives us insane, none should trust me
I’m untrustworthy, unpredictable
Undeserving of your love, six-feet down
I’ll be accomodating, and they’ll say
“Thank God. Finally she’s tolerable.”
written by Chloe Ray


Jacquan Jones | @jaquan.joness Samuel Angiulli | @anguilli_photos
Chloe Ray | @thechloeray