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numb again

sometimes, I get high off

drugs and it feels like the way

your name falls through my teeth

your supple lips that caress my neck

and your hands guiding my body

wherever you want it to go


sometimes, a pill is so much easier

to pop than it is to think about

what we want here—

because the nibbles on my neck

could easily be tearing my heart

right out of its chest, leaving nothing

but a cold cavity that had so much love to give


so, instead, of hurting, I build up walls,

and take my heart off

its rightful place on my sleeve

I bury her in steel cages

and guard her under this tower

so that no one may ever take her again


when you ask me my middle name

or my favorite color

and i tell you that you don’t need to know

just give me another pill

to ignore temporary feelings

for a potentially fatal broken heart

let me feel numb again


written by Alexandria O'Connor

Photo by Braden Porr

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