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Self portraits by Taylor Steinmeyer | @euphoric_shadovvs

I thought it would be the nights

That’s what I feared the most

The slowing down

Making it stop


Just long enough

To get my heart to stop pounding

To get the weight off my chest

To get the loop of images out of my head


Like a movie

Being fast forwarded

Then rewind

Then forward


Pause

Play

Rewind

Fast forward

Eject.


I thought it would be the afternoons

Full of what do I do now

Boredom strikes

The sun is still a peaceful blanket


Wishing I had someone to share it with

But no

It wasn’t the silent nights

Or the peaceful afternoons


That I should have been scared of

Because when I woke up

Sleepy-eyed

Slightly cold


The sun tip toeing into my room

That’s when the wave crashed on my chest

When my arms wrapped around me

The tears streamed down my face


All I wanted to hear was a

“Shh, everything’s okay.”


So that’s what I said

And I’ll say it a million times


Until there is nothing but that

And sleep on my mind


written by Sarah Desourdy | @sarahdesourdy


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