starving

I’ve always sat and dreamt the day,

That all my problems would melt away.

Melt like fat right off the meat,

“It’s for the better if I don’t eat.”

Always teased and ostracized,

I felt I was worthless in other’s eyes.

Everyday was taunts and jeers,

Preying on my deepest fears.

Thoroughly convinced I’d die alone,

I’d have to conform to skin and bones.

Weight was lost, I didn’t feed

My skin was cold, I couldn’t bleed

The compliments came rolling in,

I knew they’d love me if I were thin

100 pounds lost, just like that

Is it worth the pain to not be fat?

I’m at my goal, why am I sad?

Isn’t weight loss never bad?

It took some time to realize why,

I’d never really stopped wanting to die

The sadness came from deep within,

No matter the flesh under my skin

I knew I had to face the sham

and love myself for who I am

It’s not your body, it’s your mind

Treat yourself well and grow in kind.

written by Rin Weinstein | @rinhaze

Rin Weinstein photographed by Jenna Levine